Phrase Book and Lexicon of American Journalism (Or, Ambrose Bierce Wasn’t Even Half Cynical Enough)

How to understand common phrases used by broadcast news anchors and print journalists.

“Anonymous sources have confirmed…”
Translation-What I am about to say is such a bald face lie that even the most partisan political hack refuses to be associated with it.
“If this is true.. “
Translation-I don’t have a clue what I am talking about so let’s just play ‘let’s pretend ‘.
“We stand by our reporting…”
Translation-If you are dumb enough to still be listening to me then tune in tomorrow for more.

Anonymous source – literary device, fictional character used to advance the narrative
Bombshell report – term used to identify stories that will be retracted, deleted, or otherwise rendered irrelevant within 24 hours. So named because of their uniquely predictable tendency to blow up in the face of the editor
Investigative reporter– a journalist who selects an individual or group and then searches for a crime which can plausible be associated with them
Journalist – a reporter reporting what other reporters report that another reporter has reported

Trusted source – a person whose malevolence closely matches that of the editor

(United Methodist readers may want to refer to The Bishops ‘ Dictionary)

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